


Blind

by Escanor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (like big ones - up to chapter 84), Character Study, M/M, Manga Spoilers, One Shot, Other, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 09:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8663056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Escanor/pseuds/Escanor
Summary: Eren was not usually one for philosophy, but there was one thing that perpetually bothered him, and he never seemed to be able to get it off his mind. Perhaps it was because they spent so much time together, perhaps because they knew each other so well, but whatever the reason, Eren just couldn't shift the thought at all. Why was Armin so blind?  (Or: Eren sings Armins praises to himself after the events of chapter 84)





	

Eren was not usually one for philosophy, but there was one thing that perpetually bothered him, and he never seemed to be able to get it off his mind. Perhaps it was because they spent so much time together, perhaps because they knew each other so well, but whatever the reason, Eren just couldn't shift the thought at all.

Why was Armin so blind?

The boy had always been clever. He'd been wise beyond his years, too wise for the other children to understand, other children whose first thought was to hit whatever they didn't understand and see what happened. Armin never cried until they left, or at least, he only ever cried when pain forced the tears from his eyes, but he never relented or bowed to them in their presence. He never let them win. The small, weak child was never visibly crushed under their immense force, and Eren always noticed how he remained standing tall in their shadow when he and Mikasa came to his rescue. That should have been a sign. He should have actively taken note instead of passively accepting it. Well, that was his mistake - he'd made enough of them to know.

It was only after the siblings had got rid of the bullies that Armin ever crumbled. He would sink to the floor and tightly pull his knees to his chest and bury his face in his arms, golden hair falling forward to obscure himself further. He would cry; the tears he had forbidden himself from shedding finally being released. He always thanked the two of them, and it always hurt him, even at that age Eren could clearly see the waves of disappointment and self-resentment crashing through Armin's small body. He never understood why, though. Mikasa would always lay a hand on Armin's shoulder and say that wasn't how they saw it, he wasn't any trouble at all, he was their _friend_ and they cherished him. Though Eren knew he had never said quite the right thing, hindsight told him Armin always knew he was being honest when he said that it didn't matter that he wasn't physically strong or brave - he was incredible just as he was. But then it came again, the thought, the question, snapping Eren out of his reminiscing and into the present. Why was Armin so blind?

He was clever now, terrifyingly so. It wouldn't surprise anyone if he became the Survey Corps official strategist within the next year, he was already the unofficial one and had saved more lives than he could comprehend with his remarkable plans. His intelligence seemingly came part and parcel with a spark of madness - a trait which recieved mixed reactions when it finally showed itself - and apparently a shit ton of self-loathing and doubt, too. Eren had watched his friend shriek and shake with the burden of his thoughts on too many occasions, and had cried himself to sleep too, silently echoing the soft, strained sobs that came from the bed below him. He hadn't spoken to Mikasa about it, they didn't need to share words when it came to matters concerning the three of them, but she watched over him still, ready to act should the situation call for it.

The situation had called for it several times, but the incident with the military police had been a stand out. Eren had noticed Armin's friendship with Jean blossoming for a while, and while irritated that horse-face was poisoning his best friend with his idiocy, had done nothing to hinder them. He had caught Mikasa's approving eye several times, and had taken it as a sign to grit his teeth and let Armin be. If he was happy, then God knows, let him have this at least. He'd went through enough suffering for Eren to even think about destroying his other relationships out of jealousy.

And Armin was happy with Jean. But God didn't plan on letting him have it after all. However, even God underestimated Armin.

Nobody had expected that, least of all Armin. If any of them were to murder, so be it, but surely even Krista would kill someone before Armin would. Yet in a flash the gun was raised and fired, a perfect shot at point blank range, no hesitation. A clean shot equals a clear mind, with no room for second thoughts. Armin had panicked about that afterwards, he _knew_ he hadn't hesitated and he could see and feel, even smell the blood pooling in his hands. As it dripped outside under Mikasa's watch and Jean wrestled with his shock and emotions elsewhere, Eren had caught the quick glances the rest of the squad had been sending. None were directed at him, but he read them anyway. "I told you he was mad" one of them said, "Do you think he'll go insane now?" asked another, "Maybe we should have seen this coming", "I always thought Armin was so gentle...", "I hope he'll be alright...we need him". Disgusted, Eren had left the table and eventually found himself alone with his thoughts. The visible thoughts on the faces of his squad weren't entirely...wrong, per se, everyone had caught a glance of a cold-hearted killer residing in his friend's skin. Plans to kill, to destroy, to corrupt, to falsify. A calm, clear mind on the battlefield, giving directions for a young archer to follow, directions that induced a body count. Eren shook his head, the taste of blood on his tongue. Maybe Armin wasn't the only one who was blind.

Armin had always been blind. His eyes were always open, always looking, always _seeing_ , truly seeing, but he was blind. He knew so many things, so much more than he should and it was astounding, yet he knew nothing. Eren was not one for pondering, yet he did it anyway. Perhaps his vision, his knowledge, came at a cost. For the boy, his dear best friend Armin Arlert, had never truly seen himself.

He never saw how he never backed down in the face of the danger they knew as children, he never saw that courage. He never saw his selflessness and love, declaring Eren's "strategic value" with all he could give, putting himself through hell to protect Historia, saving Jean's life without a second thought. He never saw his intelligence, his ingenuity, he only took their word for it and frequently cracked a little under the pressure. They say that about geniuses though, they're often unrecognised even by themselves. Eren, like everyone else, had known Armin's genius. He had failed to pick up on his true courage though, bravery demonstrated many, many times throughout their childhood and he just took it for granted and forgot it was there. He should have known. If anything, that incident should have reminded him, but it took until now for him - for them all - to realise just how courageous that little boy had grown to be.

He had saved them all at the cost of his own life, and more than that. He had saved them, knowing he would die in excruciating pain, more than any human should be able to bear, and left with only a soft smile and not a word of farewell. Perhaps his madness came into it, Eren thought, surely no sane human could perform something like that? Oh, wait, he corrected himself, gazing at his unconscious friend as he recovered, the needle wound in his upper arm healing slowly. This isn't just any human. This is Armin Arlert, the brightest mind, and the bravest of us all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to take "Mikasa's approving eye" any way you see fit...


End file.
